I do not drink. Out a of a regular rule I do not try to drink or become inebriated. I usually try to drink and the attempt becomes thwarted by the fact that my body usually cannot handle the alcohol and I throw up. However, last night I broke the usual rule and I proceeded to drink. After a bottle and a taste of champagne I was drunk and had not thrown up yet. I was so dizzy yet happy that I almost didnt care when I looked through the window of Alli's sliding glass door and saw an officer of the law standing out there. However, "almost" still made me (a girl with an anxiety issue and kinda paranoid behavior) aware of the fact that this is bad. You see, I am 20, which by all legal standards means that I am underage. The words "Oh fuck" were never more true. I decided to bail out of the fucking livingroom only to continue to remain standing there in plain view (Apparently alcohol affects awareness who knew right?). The owner of the house Alli, decided to grab the other underage drunkard David and myself and stash us in her room. There I lay on the floor incoherent and drunk until Alli went out to greet the cops. Upon asking her, "Do you have your ID?" Alli said sure and then reentered the room.
"Get in the closet." she whispered pushing both david and I into the closet and shutting the door behind us leaving her prone and uselessly drunk friend devon on the bed.
I hear her talking to the cops and assuring them that there are no underage people in the house. The cops wandered the house and looked into her bedroom, "Who is that?"
"That's my sister Devon", she said, "she's only twenty but she's in here trying to sleep."
Miraculously they left the room alone and did not open the closet door, which made me gasp and pray happily that they were not coming back. Then I hear, what happened to that other blond.

Oh sweet fucking Christ on a pogo stick I might get really fucked. Alli lies and says that the only blond here is her sister who's sleeping. They ask what about the other one and then Alli's says, "I dunno where she went."
The rest of the tale is brought to me by various friends who were out in the living room. Apparently they asked what the party was for and a drunken Paul said, "It's my birthday."
Which is only made funny by the fact that I had made a cake (which the officers saw and offered one another) in the shape of a penis. Also there was a significant gender ratio. There were four girls at this party. One was hiding (me), the other was passed out drunk as shit in the bed, and the Twins were out in the living room, and one was OBVIOUSLY not drunk (kim) and then there were four guys out in the open. Why would there be four guys out in the open and three girls (with one sleeping) and a penis cake sitting on the counter for one of the GUYS birthday. You do the math at what the officers were probably thinking.
We also had nine air soft guns lying out and about. All of which the officers picked up and admired.
Back to me in the closet, a few minutes later Kim came in and gave an update that the officers were joking about the penis cake and the air soft guns and that she would come and get us when they left. after hushing a drunken Dave numerous times. we finally heard a knock at the door. "Is anyone in there?"
Oh fuck. Neither of us answered. It was then that the door opened to reveal Jared another party-goer who was laughing.
The cops were gone and we were free and clear.
Now for the important reason as to why we had the call made on us, the officers said that "Someone flagged us down and told us there was an underage party going on here."
Here is where I give an all important FUCK YOU to whoever reported our asses. There were three underage people there and NONE of us were caught. NONE!!! I hid in a closet, but I wasn't caught by the cops. Thanx for ruining the party for us fucktard, but you failed at actually catching us.
So yea, over all, I had a great time and actually got drunk. Thank you Alli for inviting us, it was great!